One Year Ago

I was talking to Zhohn online earlier and somehow it just came to me that it's been one year since my lumpectomy...and in just 3 weeks it will be one year since my mastectomy. WOW! Looking back on that, all I can remember is how scared I was. Not knowing what was going to happen next and not knowing if I was about to embark on a journey that could take my life from me. The lumpectomy was nothing... the doctor removed a lump the size of a California Lemon from my right breast (I'm not exaggerating, those were his words). Let me start from the beginning:
In 1985 my grandmother died at the age of 49 from breast cancer. When my mom was in her late 30's she had a lumpectomy, and my baby sister had her first mastectomy when she was 16 then her second just weeks before her 18th birthday. I scooted through life until I was 26 with no problems until December 2006 when I found a lump in the shower.
I had just started a new job and my insurance didnt come into effect until the end of January so, I had to wait before I could see a doctor...So it was a "wait for it" kind of thing. I made an appointment with the Doctor who had taken care of my whole family...he was familiar with the history and he wasnt about taking chances. So he scheduled me for surgery the next week.
The lumpectomy went very well, I had a HUGE incision. 15 staples around the circumference of my breast, but he had to cut big, to get the mass out. I went home 2 days later....and boy did I miss that morphine when I got home. 10 days later I went back to have my staples taken out and all was well in my world again. I didnt have Cancer and I wasn't going to be fighting for my life. Thank you Lord!
Well one night (3 weeks to the day later) I was in bed enjoying a glass of iced tea as I watched some TV when I noticed a spot of blood on my shirt... Upon investigating, i realized it wasnt coming from my incision, it was coming from my nipple. First thing that next morning, I called my Doctor and told him of my findings.... I wasnt concerned because I thought it was normal after having had surgery just 3 weeks before. He says, NO...Thats not normal...Come in right now, I need to look at you. So off to the Doctor I went. Upon his examination, he looks me in the face and says, "Casey, you have a condition called Ductal Ectasia. I have only seen this in older women who have breast Cancer...and in your little sister. We are going to have to have surgery again." Well okay Doc... another surgery. I'd gone to the doctor alone that day and I really wasnt sure what I'd just heard him say. Did he just tell me that I have Cancer? Exactly what kind of surgery are we going to be having here? So I called mom and cried... then I went home and let this all sink in. When my sister was diagnosed she'd had a mastectomy...was that what I was going to need? After a couple of days passed, I went back to the doctor to discuss this surgery. His words are...Your milk ducts are infected, they are producing a bloody Discharge...I am not saying you have cancer, but once I cut you I will have to remove all of the diseased tissue, which may result in a mastectomy depending on how bad it is. Well thats better...I may not have Cancer and I might not have to lose my breast. There's some good news, right?
I spent days crying over it... Was I going to be deformed? How was I going to deal with that? So I did what any other crying devastated woman would do... I called my sister. She was wonderful..answering all of my questions with enthusiasm like it was going to be a day in the park. Fianlly, I had to ask her, "Was there ever a time when you felt like less of a woman afterwards?" My little sister told me something at that moment that took my breath away... She said, "Casey, it all happened before I was ever a woman. I never had that chance to fall in love with someone before I lost my breasts. I was only 16!" It was then that I decided...if my little sister can face this at 16 and then AGAIN at 17...It was in the bag for me!" I already have someone who loves me, who doesnt care about my breasts... I can breeze through this! and thats what I did!
On the day of my surgery, i went in smiling. I awoke to find that I did end up losing alot of my breast, but He left me some tissue to build on if I want to reconstruct later.
Here I am a year later...I still only have 1 and a half boobs, but nonetheless...this didnt get me down! In one year...My life has gone in a completely different direction and Thank you Lord, I am happy!
Until next time Bloggers! Believe!