I have been "single" for three weeks now and I can say I am better now than I was three weeks ago... I have had a wonderful support system and I really havent had any time on my hands thanks to a Job that I can throw myself into and thanks to wonderful people like Zhohn who are always there when I need.
I must have mis-read my schedule because somehow or another I ended up with the weekend off and I havent made plans. This will be my first weekend all alone in my new house with nothing to do. I dont know how to deal with this at all...I mean...I still sleep on the couch so I dont have to feel all alone in the bed. Should i just start drinking now and stop Sunday evening in time to get up and go to work Monday? I called my therapist already... she'll be calling me back shortly. I'm going to tell her what I want to do with myself and then she's going to tell me how stupid it sounds...then she's going to remind me of my self worth and I will smile again until morning when the reality of it all hits me again. It's at that point I will get up off of the couch...pack a bag...then make the 2 hour drive to Zhohn's house just so I wont be alone. (sigh) Where the hell did my life go wrong? How the hell do I celebrate an anniversary on the 12th then come home on the 16th to find all of my stuff packed and the locks changed. I just cant figure it out.
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Girl.......pack your bags....that's what friends are for. I hope you were able to spend some time with Zhohn and just feel comforted by her friendship. Just want you to know I am thinking of you....hoping all is well.....Dena
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